I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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