Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
im on a boat
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