i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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