You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
