I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
