your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
