This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
