hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
