who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
