dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wish i was in the wii world.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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