His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
only you would photoshop your dick
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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