Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
