Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
