She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
