she woke up with a sticky ear
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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