Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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