I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
