ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I love having hate sex.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
