When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize