Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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