3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
