No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
