i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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