i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She's the barista slut.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
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