grandma shit on top of the toilet
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
