but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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