ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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