Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize