This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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