I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.