Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high. http://tfl.nu/s9x7
  Replies (25) Good night (1349) Bad night (2187)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park http://tfl.nu/yu5j
  Replies (29) Good night (766) Bad night (3008)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store. (859): Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks. http://tfl.nu/01yd
  Replies (24) Good night (948) Bad night (3289)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike... http://tfl.nu/h9ar
  Replies (10) Good night (1198) Bad night (3883)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back... http://tfl.nu/izou
  Replies (17) Good night (2338) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina. http://tfl.nu/ugq6
  Replies (14) Good night (3216) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer. http://tfl.nu/4dxu
  Replies (6) Good night (2170) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer. http://tfl.nu/5cv0
  Replies (2) Good night (2169) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails http://tfl.nu/p7in
  Replies (12) Good night (3452) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls. http://tfl.nu/wzfh
  Replies (9) Good night (2890) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS http://tfl.nu/smac
  Replies (4) Good night (286) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves. http://tfl.nu/0ncq
  Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns. http://tfl.nu/3mk5
  Replies (5) Good night (660) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry http://tfl.nu/y5n9
  Replies (7) Good night (768) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer. http://tfl.nu/5ks9
  Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (213)

Randomize