remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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