Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.

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  (732): You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant. http://tfl.nu/c7ag
  Replies (23) Good night (3326) Bad night (672)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.

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  (678): I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life. http://tfl.nu/5bor
  Replies (17) Good night (4749) Bad night (1030)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

  (347): View more from New York

  Something to remember me by.

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  (832): I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet. (347): Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/ual5
  Replies (6) Good night (2690) Bad night (2050)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...

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  (+61): She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was... http://tfl.nu/7mx1
  Replies (50) Good night (11527) Bad night (2730)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.

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  (773): You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930. http://tfl.nu/kxnv
  Replies (14) Good night (3208) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was

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  (928): im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was http://tfl.nu/g5u7
  Replies (4) Good night (2399) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.

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  (843): The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year. http://tfl.nu/r78b
  Replies (6) Good night (1612) Bad night (692)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing

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  (316): You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing http://tfl.nu/1k7o
  Replies (13) Good night (2360) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.

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  (310): Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus. http://tfl.nu/vfqq
  Replies (22) Good night (2094) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.

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  (651): The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/4fee
  Replies (24) Good night (1213) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.

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  (954): I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days. http://tfl.nu/jvfc
  Replies (1) Good night (1046) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.

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  (906): I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7. http://tfl.nu/m2ux
  Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.

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  (812): Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check. http://tfl.nu/axr2
  Replies (6) Good night (556) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene

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  (917): Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene http://tfl.nu/53z4
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (508)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story

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  (469): These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story http://tfl.nu/9fd8
  Replies (0) Good night (229) Bad night (130)

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