Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I got chris browned last night

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."

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(514): View more from Quebec

No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.

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(323): View more from California

Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..

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