ADVERTISEMENT

• (561): View more from Florida

  So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.

  Fav 10 3610 835

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk

  Fav 40 5501 1351

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (408): View more from California

  you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"

  Fav 14 7831 1423

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Operation Purity has been aborted

  Fav 24 6856 1637

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life

  Fav 13 4592 1171

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

  Fav 8 2602 1211

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?

  Fav 18 5193 1398

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick

  Fav 20 1931 987

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs

  Fav 3 2709 1167

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me

  Fav 5 1025 633

  share tweet
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

  Fav 6 1134 697

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket

  Fav 2 897 570

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE

  Fav 4 1278 618

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death

  Fav 1 288 171

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday

  Fav 0 208 217

  share tweet
  

Randomize