Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline