This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
