i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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