just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
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They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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