4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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