If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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