kristin has been a bad kristin
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
