he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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