when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
