I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize