My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
