Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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