that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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