Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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