You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No subtext here. People are naked.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
