My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
