fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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