I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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