yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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