Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.