covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.