Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
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I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..