i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
is that a dick in a sweater?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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