just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
