OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
