Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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