you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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