Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
