Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The struggles of a small town man whore
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize