she looked like the bat from fern gully.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
