K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
